Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Lenore "the Whore" Zann: Cyber Bully of 2013

The Face of Progress

So long as it's performed with the right person, to the right extent, at the right time, with the right motive and in the right way, sexual promiscuity is as healthful and human as a strong belch after supper. So, I don't judge Lenore Zann for her former low-budget, quasi-pornographic movie career as a lesbo starlet simulating the fuzz-hump nasty on the silver screen. (Well, technically just on Showtime, but whatever.) It's a much more honorable profession than professional politics. While the first profession takes some honest skill, courage and hard work, the latter one is just for whores.

Marc Faber: Prophet of the New Dark Ages

Ignore this man. He's probably just a silly ol' white racist, extremist, extremist, extremist in any case. Actually, if you don't ignore him, you might be a thought criminal. You're not a thought criminal, are you? Are you actually evil enough to make any attempt to profit off the economic collapse of America? Do you put profit before people? How could you ever consider giving up faith in Democracy, Progress and America?

If so, if you've lost the Faith, then, you are an Enemy of the People! If you take Faber seriously, you are a threat to the International Community! And we know that you enjoy raping women in your spare time  when you're not eating kittens for dinner, burning crosses with the Klan and poisoning the Environment with your selfish, disgusting second-hand cigarette smoke. Heretic! Blasphemer! Thou shall rot in Hell!

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Renascence, by Edna St. Vincent Millay

Oh, why not share one of my deceased mother's favorite poems by old Edna. Poor Edna. I wonder if the cheap gin streaming through her veins numbed all the pain as she took her final, death-dealing tumble down the stairs. We can't be bohemian hipsters forever, after all. Even in the early 20th century  Nature really does abhor a vacuum. Especially if that vacuum is a manic-depressive that lost all its poetic fame and sucks down twenty shots a day to compensate for feelings of inadequacy and loneliness. Silly vacuum. Either way, no matter how much we're all sucking these days, in death or life, I wonder if poor Edna felt the need for a new Renaissance--a new renewal, a rebirth from the last one. In lieu of her 1917 hipster hippie-ness, I somehow doubt it. Maybe this poem was an ode to the 1917 Russian Revolution. We could certainly read it that way: Progress marches on, dear Bolsheviks! The Revolution continues! Socialism has never really been tried before! Stalin and the USSR were a strange, illogical aberration of what we wanted. We will build the future and we're building it now--Socialism with a human face!

Or not. And if your intellect is frivolous enough to believe that the Renaissance gave the West something called "Progress," let me reassure you that your godless religion has done nothing but burnt out your eyes with its dark, permeating radiance. As the great poet Mr. Rose once said, "You're in the jungle baby. You're gonna die." Like a deceptive virus whose organic malware is yet undetected, the dark radiance has spread from your hollowed eye sockets and spread throughout your brain. Indeed, it has infected all of us. And we're all so proud to be infected, like a self-congratulatory pimp. Sure, he knows his bitches got the HIV, but they be the best bitches in da city! 

Anyhow, welcome to the new Dark Age. It's the same as the old Dark Age. There never was a Renaissance. But perhaps, if we're lucky, we'll see a real one in our lifetimes. Though we certainly don't deserve it. 

More likely, the 21st Century will replicate and duplicate those horrors we witnessed in the 20th--the century of Progress and Democracy. Progress marches on! Indeed. Take it away, poor Edna. We need you. We can't blame you for your self-destruction. Perhaps you understood in the end, as you threw back that last swig, that these really are the New Dark Ages. We're right behind you, at the top of the staircase, for now. 

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Garet Garrett - The Revolution Was

A Christmas Gift for All: Garet Garrett's Guest Post

These last two months I've been moving, dear readers, among those walking dead Americans who, by their very nature, crowd out us few remaining but true individuals--the Remnant--in their ruthless hunger for our flesh, blood and souls, from one place of residence to another. And in doing so, amidst the packing and searching in desperation for a new homestead to rest my weary heart and mind with my few though resolute companions, I've had little time to devote to this blog. 2013 has been a sad year indeed for those of us on staff at the offices of the Cantankerous Mustache. Never fear. We shall return soon. In the meantime, fellow freaks and misanthropes, please enjoy the dark, immortal words of Garet Garret. His tale is one of woe. And if you're too lazy or faint to read, as I've been feeling of late, then worry not, and enjoy his works through the auditory wonders of youtube, re-published here for your ears only.

But I warn you, dear readers, Garet's Garrett's somber, gothic history hides no national skeletons in the closet of mainstream mythology. On the contrary, his words not only bring out the dead of buried truths, but justice to their withered, ghost-like existences. Warning to the naive voyager who dares to cross these distant lands, to the tender-footed mind of skepticism seeking truth and justice, to the young and optimistic dreamer of future promises and better tomorrows: Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here. The future was destroyed before your generation was even born and before mine as well. If you wish to know how and why and by whom the future was massacred, then, by all means, continue your journey into the unknown. Go forth and discover the facts of the matter. But do not claim, when you slice your way to the other side of this dark, lonesome jungle of truth, that you were not warned. Perhaps you should save this graveyard adventure for after these Holidays, the season of hope, faith and good cheer. For, if you rush ahead into Garrett's words, it is most assured that your hope will be lost, your faith shall be shattered, and your cheer drained of any goodness at all.

Ah, you can't help yourself, I know! You've already dashed under the tree! You're shaking the presents of doom, searching through your parents' closets for any unwrapped gifts that will only serve to disappoint you! You know it and I know it, too! Well, there is always some fun in disappointment. Discovering disillusionment need not be a time of sorrow. Au contraire, mes infants terribles! When we realize Santa does not exist, deep down, in the pit of our puerile souls, we know we have taken a giant step in spiritual growth. Such revelations or realizations only help fulfill our destinies. We become thus more of what we need to be: our selves.

So, enjoy this Christmas cookie of dread, fellow misfits in this lost and forlorn world of "Progress". Remember, "all I'm offering is the truth--nothing more." Of course, I baked every cookie with a Red Pill in the middle. Please don't choke as it goes down. Chug some organic, grass-fed, fair-trade milk if you feel the need. And take a big gulp of reality: The future was destroyed by those brain-sucking zombies long before you were born. But I'll let Monsieur Garrett explain the deets.

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas, kiddies.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Elizabeth Warren Is Not an Anarchist

But she might be a fascist. Well, she claims here that "We Are Not a Country of Anarchists." Her article illustrates one of the many self-inflicted illnesses attacking the health of our god, the all-powerful, all-knowing democratic nation-state: a tiny number of people in the ruling class, people with immense, mind-boggling power, think they have the right to make proclamations of identity for over 316 million other individual human beings. In other words, Elizabeth Warren, you need to go speak for yourself, please, you spineless, rotten, scum-of-the-earth, blood-sucking vampire-cunt. Then, after you shut your mouth or promise to speak for yourself and yourself alone for the rest of your life, please help make a difference, help grow our economy, be a good public servant, give something back to your community, create a new shovel-ready job, dig a hole, jump in it, and lie there until you die.  

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Why Hitler Won (Part 3).

(Continued from Part 2):

Why Hitler Won (part 2).

Continued from Part 1:

Why Hitler Won (part.1)

If one wishes to understand the nature of freedom, aside from searching inward to the wild yearnings of your own soul, I would suggest attempting to understand the nature of imprisonment. Totalitarian societies have fascinated me since I grew enough hair on my balls to understand that most human beings throughout history to this day have cherished their own chains more than anything else in life. Since I was a teenager, I've dreamed of traveling to those places most culturally and legally prohibited in the US: Cuba, North Korea, Iran, Russia and Saudi Arabia, not so much to see how, precisely, they wallow in the mud of their own authoritarian social realities, but to confirm my suspicion that the shades of their various socio-political-economic systems merely reflect a degree or two of muddy difference from our own institutional shit-holes.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Eric Liu & Nick Hanauer Are the New Fascists (part 2)

We left off with a masterful musical stunt by the Dead Boys and a lingering thought that pests us like a wasp, stabbing us in our waking sleep, outside by the pool. With our eyes closed, catching some rays of sunlight as the summer draws to a close (if you live in the southwest, summer can last till the middle of October) calm and pleasant reveries of joy begin to fade, being displaced by the distinct pangs of something so close, yet, so out of view, and seemingly so far away: the nightmare sting of reality.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Eric Liu & Nick Hanauer Are the New Fascists (part.1)

So, this here is bullshit. Surprising? Not at all. I've been arguing for a long while now the exact same point: in time, libertarians will be everyone's favorite new evil-doers. Bill O'Reilly and Rachel Maddow will agree that, hey, we all have our political differences, but we're all Americans, well, except anti-American Americans, and which Americans are more anti-American than the libertarians? So, we can all agree that the anti-American Americans are a serious threat to our neo-Victorian polite society of PC puritanism and, in fact, a very serious danger to western civilization itself! And that's the memo for the day. Back to you, Rachel. Thanks for that insightful commentary, Bill.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Computer Hackers, Unite!

Hi! After a much-needed vacation from reality, I'm back! Now I'm cleaning house. I should have posted this article a year ago, when I first read it. Sometimes, as many a lazy-ass blogger will tell you, you create drafts of posts that you kick to the dark corner of your amnesia closet, only to discover these buried treasures a year later as you dig through the same closet searching for cigarettes, condoms or socks. And thus, here we are.

Many hackers are libertarians and anarchists. At least, they should be. And anarchist libertarians should become hackers. Think Julian Assange. Think Anonymous. Think Wired magazine. Think, you know, dorks in the '90s who understood the message of The Matrix while fantasizing about Carrie-Ann Moss' ass in black leather. The open-source movement, the anti-copyright/intellectual property movement, cypherpunks and the liberty movement share so many interweaving ideals and goals, that it's silly not to combine our super-powers together to fight the evil, tyrannical Lex Luther-wannabe mother-fuckers around the world who work for the most powerful institutions on earth--Nation-States. So, whenever you read shit like this below, stories about governments arresting hackers and anti-authoritarians, such as the creators of Pirate Bay, say a prayer and stand in solidarity with them against the wicked Statist sons-a-bitches who persecute them.

Imagine a million IRS "criminal" files zapped out of existence forever. Imagine the entire NSA data-base wiped out with the quick touch of your fingers typing code. Press ENTER. And, gone, forever. Imagine scrambling the online identities of every cop, every prosecuting attorney, every politician who wants to fuck with us: their bank accounts, their tax records, their social security numbers, their health records, their online browsing history. Imagine making some of these records known to the public. All of these tools can be, should be, and will be ours. This is the future of our small-but-growing resistance movement. It's nonviolent, and yet breeds chaos. It doesn't, in all reality, hurt anyone. But it sure will fuck with them. Bad. Let's give the NSA a taste of its own medicine. Hacking is the way of the future. So, you know, hackers unite! (and all that jazz.) Word.

(Original article printed below:)

Friday, May 10, 2013

Why Don't We Bring Back the Draft?

Says a patriotic "progressive" at Salon.com. Check out the comments thread and notice all the chaps who actually think this is a good idea. The best dissenters you'll find out of six whole pages include a couple of "lean-forward" types who recite stylistic variants of, "Instead we should have two years of mandatory national service." Indeed. Because then it would be impossible to collect all the kiddies and round them up for war in...how many wars is the USA fighting again? Does anyone keep count anymore? Are we in Syria yet? I can't keep up. 

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Perlstein's Propaganda +TV = Rachel Maddow

Take Rick Perlstein's attempt to write an argument, chop off its nuts, throw it on MSNBC, and you'll glimpse America's stylistic variant of Orwell's Two Minutes of Hate. 

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Dear Rick Perlstein, You Are Propaganda

While browsing the web for articles providing some history on the FBI and agent provocateurs, I tripped upon this article by Rick Perlstein of Rolling Stone magazine. It's a elegant piece of journalism--factual, based on some investigative reporting, somewhat objective (until he suggests that it might be totally cool if the FBI used KGB tactics of entrapment to hunt down political groups he despises, instead of those with whom he sympathizes). 

Friday, April 19, 2013

Happy 20th Birthday, Waco Massacre!

Not sure. But I recall being a 5th grade twat twiddling my thumbs in the great southwest catching rattlesnakes and building desert forts when this disaster cracked and fizzled on our bloated 80s-era television. Of course, I didn't know what to think. My mother wasn't stunned. Dad never mentioned anything of it. And my stepfather said, "Well, Little Dale, these people were fucking nuts." 

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

What Did You Expect?

Really, America, do you think you can bully the rest of the world with perpetual war and drone strikes; and then marginalize, criminalize, and terrorize your own subjects, without expecting any blowback...from anyone?

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Are You a Psycho?

I don't think I am. But then, who's the strange person whispering in my ear? What's that, God? Social media died on the cross for me? 

Thursday, February 28, 2013

I Heart Voltairine de Cleyre 4Ever!

And who the fuck said there ain't no American anarchist women in history besides Emma Goldman? No, seriously. This chick rocks. The prose backslaps any bitches writing for the NYT. Beautiful reader as well in this LibriVox recording. Many, many, many thank you's and toodles and what-nots to whoever went through the trouble to post this reading on youtube. Anyhow, as Voltairine herself expresses here, anarchy is as American as apple-bottom rap songs by Nelly. Enjoy! 

Friday, January 25, 2013

First They Came for the Smokers (pt.2)

Nice to see that at least they're not even trying to hide their puritanical-Nanny-state-I-Know-What's-Best-For-You elitism anymore behind bullshit like "second-hand smoke" or lower costs in health insurance (which, by the way, even after all the smoking bans, never happened). 

Thursday, January 24, 2013

The Problem Is Your Tie, Dick-heads.

Listen here, all you libertarians digging deep holes in the middle of a desolate nowhere searching for an answer, cause I have it for you: you're ideas are fucked. It doesn't matter how logical or rational or coherent your arguments are. 

You want people to do drugs?!? You want people to own guns?!? You want people to...what? Just dance naked and fuck in the streets?