Thursday, November 15, 2012

Secession Now! (Part Uno)

I gotta get a word in on this secessionist petition thing.  When I first heard of it several days ago, I saw that my state had not yet created one. So, I logged onto the white house website and signed all of them immediately (I believe there were only 20 then) with the intention of writing one for my own state before anyone else did. Someone beat me to it by about 30 minutes. Damn. 

Even when I used to think Lincoln was this great guy, as we're all trained to believe from grade 1 through 12, I was suspicious of the "secessionism equals racism" cliche that goes hand-in-hand with the mythology of Lincoln. Why does secession necessarily imply racism? And why do high school history books refer to the abolitionist John Brown as "America's first terrorist"? I wondered. After all, far, far fewer people died at his hands than in the Civil War or (ahem) what I call "The War of Northern Aggression". 

Because I'm so fascinated by this new (mostly symbolic) secessionist movement, I've wasted way too many hours of my time the last couple of late nights reading through the comment threads of leftwing and rightwing websites with articles on this story. 

Here's what I've learned: There's a visceral, I mean a pure instinctual, animalistic, fervent hatred shared by those on the Left for anyone who might have the least bit of sympathy for such a movement. And I was so fascinated by this level of hatred, that I copy and pasted some of the more colorful comments of these people into this blog post below. These are commentators on the Huffington Post. Each comment is by a different individual. They are colorful, no? Here's the link:

And here are those comments of glowing compassion, tolerance, warmth and concern for all of mankind: 

Fine...Take North Dakota, you can all move there. Or we can force-march you if you'd prefer.

Well, Native Americans have their own territory. Maybe we can round up Republicans and put them in a reservation in Arizona. Just sayin...

Yeah, we can build that fence they've been wanting, and we can check citizenship for ANY reason. You 'Seceders' better not be coming north to have your babies, either!!

Yes Tea Partiers, I completely understand your desire to secede from the Communist United States that so enslaves you with its medicare and social security. The timing couldn't be more right to leave either, because they are about to unleash their most evilest of plans yet...Free Health Care. That's right every friend and family member will be able to visit the doctor; your wife can finally have those boils lanced and your nephew Tyler can clear up that problem that makes him scream when he pees. So hurry and secede now while you still can! Create that Red State, trailer-park paradise you've always dreamed of, because after you lose your medicare, you'll only have about six months before the 'betes sends you on to meet Jesus.

Then they might have to give up all those Red state handouts they are so accustomed to receiving.

What is the punishment for sedition and treason?

I guess the secessionist now know how the indians felt. The sense of entitlement is staggering. There are many cultures in this country that have never had a voice, once they get a voice, everybody else wants to leave the union, what does that sound like to you.

Send this rebel rabble to Guantanamo, it hasn't petitioned to secede.

Good idea.

What these neanderthals are doing is TREASON - right?

I'm sure there are orange jump suits for all of them.

I wonder if we, the rest of the people, could get together a petition to deport every person in our state who signed a silly secession petition? After all, they are a minority, and they do not like the rest of us, and they want to have nothing to do with us, so why not deport them? Surely there must be room in Antarctica.

Let's start with Todd Palin and the rest of the members of that terrorist group he belongs to.

And then we should grant Rush Limbaugh his wish. Remember he said he'd leave the country if Obama won.

Anybody who really wants to leave - there's the door, don't let it hit you on the way out.

Remember, America love her or leave her.

I'm fine with all of these people who signed these petitions giving up Medicare and social security. I wouldn't give them a refund on their taxes though.
these people should all get together somewhere in texas and we can put up that fence they've been wanting for years. most of us would love to be rid of them. 

don't' let the door hit you where the good Lord split you

Why is this even a news story? 2/1000 of 1% of the US population signed these petitions. 

On the other hand we have just identified a large block of mentally handicapped people, hopefully they can get help now.

I'm not opposed to publicizing the list of names of the people who signed those petitions. Make a national registry even. I want to know if any of them are living in my neighborhood. Hell, they should be forced to go door to door and admit that they signed this petition.

All these immigrants need to vacate america. We can list them as a security threat to our country since so many terrorist are out and about. GOP are terrorist and should be dealt with as such. They think they can impede the security and growth of this country. Dont like it here, move to your natural homelands. Like bag people, they sit about loitering. They all are here by way of migration. To categorize them would be easy. Ungrateful immigrants that are attempting to taunt and terrorize the forward movement of the usa. Moving forward without them. Think about it. What are they needed for? Absoluetly nothing.

this just shows how wide spread the insanity is. we need to stop allowing stupid people breed.
you must be ultra conservative because you sound ignorant to knock multiple cultures 

All of the treasonous un-American tea baggers that signed secessionist petitions should be sent to Siberia and waterboarded.

(So, I'm just going to write one big SIC here for all the errors and misspellings.) 

Lovely, no? My favorites are those that suggest waterboarding (i.e. torturing) the secessionists, or suggestions of immediate deportation or "force-marching" all those evil "treasonous" dissidents, "terrorists" and "traitors!" to a concentration camp in North Dakota. 

The commentator who calls us secessionists "mentally handicapped" because he's too afraid to say "retarded" is fairly amusing. (When political correctness is valued more than civility or decency in an attempt to insult people to whom you feel 100 times superior, and where civility would only hinder your hateful intentions anyway, what the fuck, exactly, does that mean? Political correctness is very strange indeed.) 

Secessionists are compared to Indians and immigrants. Also interesting. The implication being, again, that we should be "rounded up" to be placed in camps or be deported. I believe Guantanamo Bay is mentioned a couple times as a sunny place in the Caribbean to ship us.  One clever fellow suggests that an efficiently-run eugenics program for us "traitors" and undesirables should be in line because "stupid people shouldn't be allowed to breed." There's also the insinuation that, well, shit, the US of A might as well just do the world a favor and shoot us in the back of the head because, "what's the penalty for sedition and treason again?" Ah, yes. Death. 

Well, Jee-whiz. Why not just start up the gas chambers, boys and girls, and begin piling in the undesirables? Really, that was the only suggestion omitted or left curiously unsaid by these people whose remarks are eerily reminiscent of other dangerous totalitarian societies, those historical oddities always driven by the popular hysterics of the masses to wipe out...those who don't fit in. 

We all know the big examples: Nazi Germany. Soviet Russia. Bush's America, etc., etc. (Funny thing is, Bush's post 9/11 America seems stronger and more resilient now than ever. And he's been gone for four years now.)

Thoughts: with posts such as these, I think the Left totally loses all legitimacy as the voice of "dissent". It also just nullified any complaints it had during the Bush years of being treated like, uh, terrorists because they disagreed with Bush's "patriotic" policies. That is a truly unfortunate error being made by the Left right now. Integrity, as the cliche goes, still counts for something. And the same people who screeched in horror and dread of the Bush Doctrine (rightfully so) ten years ago just took a giant shit on whatever integrity they had left before voting to re-elect Obama (as if that weren't bad enough). 

I actually made the mistake of choosing to engage some of these people as the booze kept flowing late in the night. Those posts are great fun. They shall be re-posted here in a day or so. I also engaged some of the assholes on Glenn Beck's "The Blaze". (Beck recently said that people who sign the petitions are "crazy". And I felt the need to defend those people and call him out for being a totally hypocritical, big, fat, pudgy, pasty, full-of-shit pussy.) All great fun. Like an addiction almost. But still feels like a terrible, terrible waste of time.

Till then, I hope to see those petitions filling up! Here's where you can find your state's petition to secede from the Empire:

And I'm drinking to secession tonight (again). Cheers!

No comments:

Post a Comment